Your Friday Stories turn one year old today and boy have we covered a lot of ground!
The impact of doing this work has completely taken me by surprise. First, I didn’t expect to be writing almost exclusively about personal growth. I have long held the belief that self-help is not my thing and that admitting I didn’t have it all together was somehow weak. Before I started telling you everything, my former therapist was the only one who knew the truth about my life. After I wrote the book*, something cracked open and the truth flowed out. If reading my stories has done anything for you, trust that it has done far more for me. And I am working on a way to thank you for being here.
To honor our year together, I have chosen a dozen insights from the last year. For those of you who have hung in there with some of my longer pieces, these Cliff’s Notes** are for you:
- If you want deep connections with other humans, there is no way to avoid your own vulnerability. You must let people in. No skipping the hard parts.(https://elizabethheise.com/it-was-the-moment-i-had-been-waiting-for/10/16/20)
- Self-knowledge is the greatest power you can harness. (https://elizabethheise.com/want-more-joy-in-your-life-yes-please/10/23/20)
- To keep sane, we need a daily practice. I share my rituals of meditation, journaling, movement in nature, breath work, and gratitude.(https://elizabethheise.com/six-tips-to-save-your-sanity/11/6/20)
- Living in times of uncertainty requires giving ourselves a little grace. It can help to laugh, listen, accept that we all handle hardship differently, and make future plans with stubborn optimism. (https://elizabethheise.com/how-do-we-live-with-uncertainty/ 11/20/20)
- We can’t have equality in the world without fostering it in our homes—this continues to be a WIP around here. (https://elizabethheise.com/welcome-to-the-2020-sexual-revolution/11/27/20)
- We can tame the inner critic by becoming keenly aware of that mean voice and then making the sweet voice LOUDER. (https://elizabethheise.com/silence-the-inner-critic/2/5/21)
- We learn far more when we don’t get what we want than when we do. (https://elizabethheise.com/take-a-chance-on-me/, 2/2/21)
- Our greatest growth comes through freedom. (https://elizabethheise.com/feed-your-soul/ 3/8/21)
- It is possible to let things go. The chemical cycle of a feeling lasts only 90 seconds. After that, suffering results from our need to attach a negative story and hang on tight.(https://elizabethheise.com/let-it-goooo/5/28/21)
- Healthy boundaries are essential self-care.(https://elizabethheise.com/housesofdreams/ 7/9/21)
- Byron Katie is the most effective work I have ever done and this piece gives a detailed description of it. (https://elizabethheise.com/come-home-to-yourself/9/10/21)
- After a year of personal growth, I managed to let go of the core story that has brought me misery for forty years and it is total liberation. (https://elizabethheise.com/the-only-truth-is-love/, October 8, 2021)
I am grateful beyond measure for how transformative this year has been and I heard something this week that explained how it all could have happened this way. I truly have never felt better and, according to Martha Beck, here’s why:
All it takes is one compassionate witness to create the conditions for healing. All we need is for one person to see us and hear us. In my case, all of you, dear readers, have done that for me. You have given me far more than I could have ever given you. There are no words that could adequately express my thanks.
What I can do is develop a streamlined way of achieving this for you, if you like. We all need to be seen and heard, to have that one compassionate witness. (Maybe you already have this, in which case, skip to the writing prompt below!) As you saw over this last year, the way I did it was through journaling—digging into my subconscious for what was bothering me—then exploring it through writing and sharing it. The sharing part was the key. Being seen and heard is EVERYTHING.
So. From now until July 13, 2022, I will be learning from Martha Beck how to help others uncover their inner wisdom and take inspired action, with the belief that each of us holds the key to our own right life, our own true destiny. Her methods have been called “simple, practical, and incredibly powerful.” I chose her program because her literary and religious references deeply resonate with me, plus she is very funny and that is my whole entire jam. Will it be a workshop, a course, a book or individual coaching, I don’t know! But I do know it’s going to be amazing and super useful.
So psyche up for all the insights that will come your way during this training and stay tuned for what takes shape next!
When we act as a compassionate witness for one another, we achieve true healing and are left with the certainty that it’s all going to be okay.
Love,
Elizabeth
WRITING PROMPT: Do you have a compassionate witness in your life? (Thank you again for being mine!)
Do you subscribe to these Friday Stories? You are invited at elizabethheise.com. Come follow me on the gram @elizabethheise.writer and Twitter @heiseelizabeth1. If you know others who might be interested, feel free to invite them too! Thank you for reading.
*SCRAPPY is in revisions but it COMING!! Much sausage making in writing a book as it turns out. What is true in writing a book is also true in life. There’s no skipping the hard parts.
**Happy Friday dear Randye! And I refuse to call them Spark Notes—Cliff’s Notes is the OG.