Discover the truest version of you.
I became a Mindset Coach to do for others what I had learned to do for myself through writing. As a result of sharing a story each week in which I applied self-discovery techniques to something that troubled me, I unburdened myself. At the end of a year spent digging to the bottom of a problem using proven methods, I felt amazing. Better than twenty years of therapy, seriously.
I endeavored to find a way to bring the same insight, healing and personal fulfillment to others. When you set a powerful intention like that, it’s only a matter of time before the path lights up. That path lead straight to the certification program designed by Martha Beck, Oprah Winfrey’s Life Coach. Martha jokes that she hadn’t heard that job title until someone gave it to her.
Unless you are aware of the exact techniques any given coach uses, it’s hard to distinguish one from the other. Before I knew anything about this work, I pictured incense wafting through the room, as a woman draped in scarves gently whispers empty platitudes in your ear until a chime signals your time is up. That person very well may be out there, but Martha’s program is something else entirely. I have learned what I can only describe as the most effective “heal your life” tools on the market.
I work one on one with clients who have checked all the boxes they thought would bring them fulfillment. They are at the point in their lives where they know it’s not going to come from anything external. The realization that it’s time to work on themselves is upon them. Sometimes they have over-sacrificed until they have nothing left to give. This is the point where partnering with a coach will help you find your way. It takes courage to walk straight into the garden of your life, find the weeds that are getting in the way, and pull them out at the root. When you do, you will have cleared ground upon which to grow a joyful life. Discovering what we really want beneath what is expected of us allows us to fully inhabit ourselves and find authentic connection with others. By partnering with you, I can help you do the same. Find your true self again. Be set free.
You might be wondering what’s the difference between therapy and coaching. The best way I’ve heard it described is the following: therapy is focused on uncovering and recovering from events in our past. Coaching is about discovering what we truly desire, what we dream about and finding some ways to get there. As someone who sat on a therapist’s couch for decades, I can tell you that this work is actually FUN.
The need for this approach stems from the cultural conditioning to be someone other than who we truly are. Fundamentally, we have an Essential Self and a Social Self. Our Essential Self is the person we were at birth. Our Social Self is the box checker, the people pleaser, the one who worries about what Everybody Else Thinks, whether it’s our parents, our friends, or our community. That part of us who pursued goals because we thought we had to, not because we wanted to. The trouble is, over the course of time, not living authentically quiets your intuition and has you taking a poll for what you should do rather than simply checking in with yourself. Sometimes it can even make you physically sick. As adults, we can’t change the past but we can find our way back to our true selves. It begins with taking the first step.
This work will lift off the layers of societal expectation and reveal your true self. You may recognize that person from way back when, before the culture told you to try your hardest to be someone else.
This is how I came to understand this fundamental truth. Like anyone, it dawned on me early that I needed to conform to my environment. My family was so different from everyone else in small town Albuquerque. And to a little kid, different equaled bad. As the child of Jewish hippies from San Francisco, we didn’t do anything like our Catholic, mostly Mexican-American neighbors did. In the cafeteria, I longed to taste the Frito pie enjoyed by my classmates, while I chewed on a peanut butter and honey sandwich on ten pound brown bread, hidden inside a brown paper bag. My first order of business was to figure out who I had to be to fit in.
So I learned to hide in plain sight. I set about becoming the perfect student and popular kid who teachers praised and peers respected. All I had to do was bury my wacky home life and act like everyone else. But constantly worrying what the whole world thought of me was exhausting. And it didn’t make me happy at all.
During solitary moments, I journaled, smoothing down the first page of a series of blank, flowered-fabric books, feverishly detailing the events of my life. I always ended with the same question: “what is the meaning of all this?” The answer didn’t come and my story stopped cold. A life of all the “shoulds” just didn’t make any sense to me.
And then, after half a lifetime of attempts to belong, having reached the apex of conformity as a highly compensated business litigation attorney, marrying the perfect guy and making my own family, it suddenly dawned on me that I could do life my way. I had my babies at home because that felt right. I made parenting decisions that didn’t line up with my peers. I didn’t go back to a life in litigation.
And then I found writing. Immediately it took on themes of self-discovery. Each week I grappled with a particular problem I was having, researched techniques to solving it and shared it with a growing list of subscribers. After a year I realized how much better I felt. I wondered how I could help my readers feel this way too. And just like that, I found Martha Beck’s program. Setting intentions is powerful stuff, folks.
If you are interested in finding out what is holding you back from true fulfillment, drop me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will sign you up for a Discovery Session to find out if this work is for you.
And if you haven’t yet subscribed to my Friday Stories, you are invited. Each week, I share a new story with subscribers to elizabethheise.com. You can join me on the socials too @elizabethheise.coach on Instagram and @heiseelizabeth1 on Twitter. Happy reading!