For those at home with family, you might be feeling a bit daunted right now. With the prospect of being on top of one another again, I’m right here with you. We’ve had a Covid exposure at our house and are once again wading into the unknown.
I will share what I am feeding my mind in preparation for whatever lies ahead:
- It is okay to feel your feelings. About. More. Covid. Or any of the other stuff, actually. I recognize my need to be aggressively FINE about sh!tty things. Granted, this coping tool has outlived its usefulness, but it did help me push through some dire circumstances. In the past, I believed that if I let fear or sadness in, it would flatten me. Here’s what we know: nothing will flatten us. We have proof of that: we are still here. We also know that stuffed down feelings get stuck and require steady self-medication. I’ve already done a bit of that with the mountain of treats delivered to our door. Mild panic around Covid results combined with the school’s heartless treatment of my son resulted in picking over the remains of a gift basket alone in my pantry. No amount of brownies, yogurt pretzels or chocolates will make these feelings go away. Say it with me: I will feel my feelings. If I can blast Pearl Jam and cry my way down down US1, you can too. With some intentionality, we can choose healthy ways of coping. (Okay maybe don’t drive and sob, but you get the picture.)
- Worry is a WASTE of your energy and your imagination. Breathe it out of you. Spinning the awful “what ifs” will poison the present moment. The other night at dinner, my husband predicted that if Omicron doesn’t get you, maybe Pi, Ro, Sigma or Tau would. Being no fan of that kind of talk, I replied that forecasting the worst isn’t good for anyone’s mental health. My teenage daughter didn’t appreciate my attempt to “shut down the conversation.” She said I didn’t have the right to prevent them from discussing it to avoid my own discomfort. Maybe so. Opinions aside, I do know that sharing with your loved ones that this is going to linger until 2025 is a VIBE KILLER. You have no clue what this thing is going to do. Hand wringing about three years from now? WHY. Look around you. The bogey man you are creating does not exist in the present moment and that is all we are guaranteed anyway. He is an imaginary misery maker and it is you alone who has summoned him. You can rail against this idea all you want—no, it’s just the news and I must keep all informed like the town crier. But you are choosing to consume the news. Do you work for the CDC? Is anyone calling upon you to solve this problem? If you feel the need to talk about all the mounting awfulness and what it could all mean in the days, weeks, months to come, know that these are all crappy thoughts that you don’t have to grab onto—they are ruining your peace of mind. You have control over that. Thoughts are just visitors. Let them leave without destroying anything of value. Plus, the dinner table is for good manners and pleasant conversation. Anything else leads to digestion problems and nobody needs that.
- Don’t forget all the lessons you learned from The Great Pause in the first place. So many friends returned to piling OPTIONAL garbage back on their plates and commenced to lamenting it. Clearly that insight didn’t stick, people. We won’t get many more easy outs like this again so let the lesson take up permanent residence. Opt in only when it’s a HELL YES. Everything else is a F. NO. It’s not mean. It’s called self-care and the universe is obviously making it freaking mandatory.
- Surround yourself (at a safe distance) with people who energize you, make you laugh and bring you JOY. Protect your vibe. This may be a challenge with the holidays and the inevitable relative who has a real knack for triggering you. Guess what? It’s an opportunity to work on yourself. The only thing you have control over is you. No one is making you do or feel anything. All you can do is take responsibility for how you show up. Be conscious of the energy you bring to a space. Clean it up, clean it up, clean it up.
- That said, I am not suggesting to abandon all ye who are going through difficult times. At this point in our adulthood, however, we recognize those who are struggling from those who are choosing to suffer. Some of us are trying to figure it out and we need you as a compassionate witness. Maybe you need a compassionate witness of your own. Some prefer to b!tch into oblivion. Big difference in energy and intention. Either way, you can choose if and when you are the space for it. I have literally had to practice setting healthy boundaries OUT LOUD. Honestly, I would rather scour our septic tank with a toothbrush than reject another person, however, this is some necessary self-care. When I have mastered this skill, I’m gonna throw a kegger. With a band.
- Forgive yourself. This last week has been a marathon of holiday prep: getting ready to host my mother-in-law, grocery shopping, cooking, wrapping, stressing. I admit to sinking into resentment a time or two, especially when criticized by my big kids around my parenting. I told them all off. It wasn’t cute. When we’d all had some time to reflect, I came back to the family room and kissed their heads as they took in a Harry Potter marathon on the couch together. We ended the day with I love yous all around. I love myself too, no matter how crabby and fed up I felt that day. I accept my humanity and make space for it out in the world for everyone else.
Okay team, let’s do this. Remember, you are the captain of this ship. When you steer your mind in the direction you want to go, you will always live somewhere beautiful.
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! And please send us some healthy home vibes. 🙂
Love, Elizabeth
WRITING PROMPT: What do the holidays trigger in you? How is round three of Covid going in your home? Are you doing these writing prompts? 🙂
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