When I was a young lawyer, one of the most difficult parts of the job was watching my mouth. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that children of hippies like myself have no real grasp of hierarchies. I grew up without a curfew, my siblings called their teachers by their first names, we all sort of did whatever. Add a divorce on top of that and I pretty much raised myself. Saying what popped into my head became a way of life.
As a young associate in a large firm with more politics than the Iowa caucus, my big mouth became a liability. I was too familiar with my boss and too outspoken during department meetings. You know the ones where the important folks occupy one end of the mahogany table and the punks camp out in Siberia on the other end? I didn’t get the memo on my proscribed role until one exasperated partner harrumphed that associates were invited mainly to listen. So maybe button it, Elizabeth.
I really did want to fit in. Despite holding two jobs through law school, I had a sizable student loan debt. For my own financial wellbeing, I had to make it work. I held my tongue as best I could, but my “candor” caused me constant worry that they’d want to get rid of that smartass in litigation.
So I worked hard and grew accustomed to keeping a lid on my opinions. My reticence was rewarded with an assignment to mentor one of the second year law students who’d come to Miami for the summer to showcase their talents to the hiring committee. If they made the right impression, they’d be offered a job after graduation. As I recalled, the law school crowd had a high concentration of shameless suck-ups so I prayed I wouldn’t be saddled with one of those.
When the summer associates arrived, one of them stood out like a sparkling jewel against the rest of the quiet, deferential clerks. A killer smile and razor sharp wit, Nathan Hale Williams noticed everything. He picked up on the stuffy vibe immediately. Nathan was outspoken like me, but he didn’t heap shame on himself for his directness like I did. He wasn’t worried about anyone forming a negative impression of him for asking questions— he felt free to ask away. He wanted to know if the firm was right for him, not the other way around. The way Nathan handled himself was unlike any intern before or after. That short-term gig was typically one of supplication. Every candidate who came through year after year just wanted a job offer and that second year summer was the best chance to get one. Except for Nathan. He had to know how the firm would nurture his vision for himself as a professional. The answers he received were unsatisfactory and he made no secret of his disappointment.
At the end of the summer, in an unprecedented move, young Nathan withdrew himself from consideration for employment with the firm. He mentioned it to me beforehand, ever so briefly. Nathan had already made up his mind that this was not where he would begin his legal career. In private conversations, we had agreed that the practice of law wasn’t what either of us had fantasized. I didn’t love it but my student loan debt made my paycheck the only real factor in my decision-making. I just assumed most law students, who weren’t trust funders, thought the same way. Not Nathan. He had no scarcity issues about money. I couldn’t believe it.
After Nathan pre-quit his first job as a lawyer, my first instinct was to throw myself in front of him and say NO! He was only kidding. And then drag him into the nearest empty office and talk some sense into the guy. Part of me thought the hiring committee would blame me for not sufficiently propagandizing the firm which I was guilty of without a doubt.
But I didn’t try to stop Nathan. He was absolutely right about the firm not having any real plan to nurture his career, specifically. I didn’t want to be the first person to tell him not to be true to himself. It was pretty clear that he had lived a life free from artifice and I wasn’t about to suggest he start faking it. So, as his mentor, I slow clapped that brilliant young man right out the door and the rest is history.
For this reason and all that came after that summer, Nathan will be my guest on my Instagram LIVE monthly series, Tell Me All About it, this Saturday at 1:00 pm PST, 4:00 EST. Nathan is one of those rare souls who, from EARLY, knew himself, believed in his mission, and set out to do the meaningful, community-enriching work he has been called to do. He stays true to himself above all, allowing nothing to stand in his way and I want to dig into how this came to be. Nathan has always trusted his own creative expression to speak truth into the world.
Aside from his professional successes, Nathan is the same extraordinary soul I met in the summer of 1999. Even though we live on opposite coasts, we have kept in touch throughout the years. When I hear how Nathan feels about his creative work, it gives me more clarity into my own. I warm my hands by his fire every single day. The love he has for his work and enthusiasm for life is infectious. (Seriously, go follow him on Instagram right now @nathanhalewilliams).
These days, Nathan is President and CEO of iN-Hale Entertainment LLC. He is a critically acclaimed filmmaker, television producer, author, and, of course, entertainment attorney. He has written four books: Inspiration: Profiles of Black Women Changing Our World; Ladies Who Lunch & Love; What You Don’t Know IS Hurting You: 4 Keys to a Phenomenal Career; and The Girl’s Best Friend: A Collection of Essays on Love, Life & Sharing Your Light–this one is about his experiences with his girlfriends and it’s my favorite. He is also a contributing author to For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Still Not Enough, which won the American Library Association’s Stonewall Award for Non-Fiction Book of the Year.
Nathan’s list of accomplishments is actually much longer than this, but what will be readily apparent when you tune in to our conversation this Saturday, is how present he is to his friends. He doesn’t take anyone for granted. One of his BFFs observed about Nathan that he has so much faith in humanity. Reading those words in one of his books made me cry. No matter the struggles he has faced, he believes in the goodness of people. He has managed to get to this point in his multi-hyphenated career without cynicism. AND HE LIVES IN LOS ANGELES. And New York before that! Now you know why he needs to be studied, amiright? He credits his mother, affectionately referred to as “Momma J” with showing him the kind of wide-open love that provides a foundation of faith that it’s all going to be okay.
I can’t wait to talk to Nathan and I hope you’ll join us, this Saturday at 1:00 PM PST, 4:00 PM EST.
Love,
Elizabeth
WRITING PROMPT: Do you have a friend who restores your faith in humanity? What do you credit with their positive outlook?
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